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Saturday, 17 November 2007

Emptiness

Moodswing.

Ahhhh!!! I can't believe I am emo-ing again! It just hit me, just like that. One minute ago I was happily sitting in front of the laptop making virtual burgers, and the next minute I felt empty! I can't concentrate in making burgers anymore. I can't think of anything to do. I just stare, stare and stare at the empty screen for hours then now here I am, writing. Hmm.. at least I am doing something. Feels so much BETTER, but not GREAT.

I have no control of my brain, body or my soul. My brain refused to understand what I've been reading, which makes revising only equals to a big fat zero knowledge! My eyes kept shutting down when I try to read more. More means more than 2 page only leh!! My mind kept wandering off to a place far far away! I am so pissed of myself!

You know how it is when you know that yes, you are suppose to be studying instead of doing any other thing but you just can't? That's what happened to me, so I came online but there is nothing much to do online coz I am kind of sick of staring at the screen. Then I tried reaching out for my books, only to find my hands are 'attached' to the mouse. Every click on the mouse sends some guilt signals to my brain and that is what makes it so awful! What's worse is I feel like crying but there isn't any tears. This is bad! This is what happens to a person who doesn't have any direction in life (that's what I am feeling now), simply walk through life and bang into everything she can see. Literally, I am blind!!!

This has got nothing to do with anyone. Nobody made me upset or anything. Please don't terasa. I am just having my usual emo session. I think I'm sick of sitting at home =S

For those who read my blog, sorry to torture you with this post. Pray that the next minute I'd be happy again and then maybe you'd something else..


5 comments:

- i.r.v.i.n.e - said...

naughty one* go out and enjoy once in awhile =) go for a shopping or yam cha or jogging sessions. go go. cheer up*

one day in a house keeps satisfaction away :D

usws said...

Naw, not torturing at all. I write posts like this all the time. Been feeling the same way too (even at this very moment), i know i've got alot of better things to do but i can't bring myself to do it. Either that or i keep getting distracted when i finally decide to start (unlikely XD).

Yea, so now i'm here commenting instead of studying when my finals are 2 weeks away, not doing my assignment either which is due next week and there's still lots of essay homework to do.

Oh but then coming online doesn't help all that much sometimes (unless i'm doing really fun, 'distract myself from EMOing' stuff. Been reading articles and posts about how successful everyone else is or how enjoyable and fulfilling their lives are compared to mine. All the more reason to EMO.

BYE!

p.s. Let's have an emo session together. XD <- this is fake
p.s.p.s. Take the person above's advice, go out and enjoy yourself as much as you can. Then, come back and do what you need to do feeling satisfied.

blurryhunniee said...

- i.r.v.i.ne -
I go with who? Go alone? I don't want to tag along with couples you know. And taking the public trasport is the last resort =(
See how ler..

usws
I know what you mean. It's so hard to see others living a happy and successful life while we're still in the middle of no where. Heading no where. Life sucks, don't you think so?

Good luck in your coming exams and with the assignments. My external papers will start in 3 weeks time. Keep our fingers crossed shall we?=) Though I doubt it can do any good to me. But i do it does to you. Hehe.

p.s. Emo session together is good. Not so lonely :) And going out kind of a problem to me as I don't drive and I hate the public transport, especially the KTM..ugh..

amei79 said...

Perhaps u need to plan ur daily works properly, so won come out with emptiness when doing something...

blurryhunniee said...

amei79
The problem is I am bad at planning. Taadaa.. At least /i know my problem *shrug*